Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in sadreamer's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, December 16th, 2009
10:28 pm	paradox It is easier to be friends with strangers. (Comment on this)
Monday, December 14th, 2009
1:00 am	joy vs happiness It's strange but I always feel this sense of relief when I enter a church, like I'm safe, I'm home. The day begun with a round of big tight hugs, the ones I especially love :) As I sat there and watched those around me, the laughter and the smiles, a wave of happiness washed over me, and I wondered if I could ever truly possess this, or will it be an eternal chase, once captured, slips quickly through my fingers. Humans are intrinsically greedy; our hearts desire for too many things; I can only watch on jealously. But dear ade, have you counted your blessings yet? Today, I used the four letter word on a friend, and I meant it. It never used to come this easy. I think I'm happy, but I haven't found joy. And I think maybe I know why my eyes are smaller, slightly swollen and more sensitive these days. If I start thinking myself to be as insignificant as an ant, and start putting others before myself, that may bring me joy, y'think? On another note, because we have every reason to be joyful, and because this is one of my favourite [Gaudete means Rejoice in Latin] (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 12th, 2009
9:14 pm	name of the game I wish I didn't blush so easily. I'm really bad in the game of flirting. (Comment on this)
Friday, December 11th, 2009
8:31 pm	all it takes It doesn't take a lot to make me happy. A nice swim, cuddling up in my favourite couch to read, lovely dinner with my family, a random sms from a dear friend. It really doesn't take a lot for me to be happy :) Amidst the realities of life that threaten to disillusion oneself, I look to my parents and never cease to be amazed at how after so many years, they can still have so much to say to each other; still do things together so happily and comfortably; still love each other so much. I know then, it's not impossible; and I know too, how important it is to find someone I can communicate--not run out of things to say--with. 17 more days :) (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 10th, 2009
11:26 pm	life thus far I love holidays. It's a luxury that comes with being a student, and it's the last privilege I have before officially stepping into the working world. Meeting up with friends, going out at night, meaningful night conversations, shopping, swimming, jogging, love affair with books, glorious food hunts, CGs, reading newspaper, picnic in the park, reading, conferences, seesha, surprises, celebrations, mass, adoration, science centre, lunch appointments, driving, Southern Ridge... I feel like I can go on forever with this life. ===== Too many people seek to be heard but do not listen. People who listen genuinely, sincerely and without judgment are rare, almost extinct. Which is why today was nice, so thank you, M. :) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 9th, 2009
1:09 pm	nothing to lose (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 8th, 2009
1:02 pm	every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise (Comment on this)
Monday, December 7th, 2009
10:23 pm	once again (Comment on this)
Friday, December 4th, 2009
1:04 am	difference My heart is full and my mind cannot speak. Perhaps I've come one full circle, allowing my heart to rule instead of my head. Too much emotions swirling inside, and I can't compartmentalize; hold them back; numb them out; rationalise them like before. I don't know why but I feel quite messed up inside, and I feel like I'm in need of some catharsis which never arrives or satisfies. The questions and doubts never ceases. Do I even know what I want? (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 29th, 2009
4:38 pm	catching my breath The holidays have begun but I've been so incredibly busy I haven't even gotten down to my to-do list. I've exhausted myself so much I sleep every moment I can: standing, sitting, on the bus, in the train, waiting for people. I seriously wonder why I always do this to myself o.0 BUT I'm loving the holidays no doubt! And the weather has improved tremendously :) If only I can free up some time for a swim *sigh* It's beginning to feel like before, but not quite. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 25th, 2009
12:11 am	just words I love the fact that I have full control of my time now, to do whatever I want, whenever. On a different note, Everyone needs compassion, Love thats never failing Let mercy fall on me Well everyone needs forgiveness, Kindness of a savior The Hope of the nation (Chorus) Saviour, He can move the mountains, My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save Forever, author of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave Jesus conquered the grave So take me as you find me All my fears and failures Fill my life again I give my life to follow Everything that i believe in Now i surrender (and i surrender) (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 22nd, 2009
10:54 am	the weather is confused It's been raining way too much these days. We awoke to a cold, cold morning, but soon the sun made its grand appearance and shone with a vengeance, as though to compensate for its lack the past few days. Though the chilly winds foretells of yet another downpour in the afternoon, I'm determined to keep my spirits up. ps: there's an amazing cumulus cloud formation outside my window right now :) (Comment on this)
Friday, November 20th, 2009
11:14 pm	love thyself (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 19th, 2009
9:43 pm	At the rate I'm going, I'll drive myself crazy with all the thoughts in my head. Tried sleep, jogging, a shower, food, talk, reading inspirational texts; yet I still feel suffocated. Why? :( Tomorrow is going to be better. I will cling on to that belief. If only... Current Mood: oppressed (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
7:40 am	meta-words "So what makes you happy?" he asked. She was silent for awhile. Just when we thought she wouldn't answer us... "Music," she said simply. I smiled. (Comment on this)
Monday, November 16th, 2009
8:03 pm	face among the crowd There's something about wet pavements, chilling night breeze and velvet night sky that enchants me. Sometimes I have this urge to walk on forever along concrete roads under the evenly spaced street lamps and get lost in my thoughts. There is a false sense of security that the night veils me from the glares of the world, as the world is safely tucked away in the comfort of their homes. I feel a secret glee and deviance as I walk against the direction of the general crowd who head home, while I head out to where life is. Yes, I have not forgotten how the night captivates me. I love malls beyond their superficial materialism. I love the way it brims with life and the blinding lights scream for attention. I love getting lost in the crowd, being anonymous, just another face. I love walking around aimlessly, immersed in my ruminations, and smiling randomly. This is just for tonight. I also miss strolling down the aisles of the mall, hand in hand, and talking random nonsense with you :) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 14th, 2009
8:49 pm	There is a world out there... ... do we see it? (Comment on this)
Friday, November 13th, 2009
12:00 pm	Dance like no one is watching Have you ever twirled in front of a mirror? :) (Comment on this)
1:44 am	We have a lot to learn from children. They are not afraid to laugh; they are not afraid to cry; they are not afraid to love; they are fearless. I want to laugh with abandon. (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 12th, 2009
4:01 pm	(Comment on this)